Sunday, March 14, 2010
drained mind, sore brain
HELL WEEK STARTS NOW. But... I believe there is a more suitable word for what we're going through this week.Im just not sure what it is but IT IS WORST THAN HELL FOR SURE!!!!!!! BASTA... IMBA, BV! Please Lord give US guidance. onting tiis na lang, this sucker is over, vacation na!!!!
Monday, March 8, 2010
VENT-ing
I LOOK STUPID HERE. why did i put this? well, i don't feel well. i mean not that i'm sick or anything, i just feel like... something is missing or a part of me is missing and that's the closest picture that somehow describes my feeling.
I have a lot of things to accomplish this week (academically speaking), but i'm so not in the mood, plus... why can't i stop thinking about him? OH MY GOD. I'm going mad am I? Have i done something that made him tick of? Does he decided not to come for me? OH MY. how paranoid can i get. I know i'm in no psition to feel anything like this and all but... my instinct is telling me that something is WRONG. And... my instinct is always as in most of the time correct! Why all of a sudden huh? Oh my... i feel so empty now. not just because of this shenanigan but also, the fact that i feel very pressured to decide now what my life long career would be. I mean, im just starting to discover the things that i enjoy, the things that defines me, I'm just starting out to explore the World and discover ME. Why rush parents??? did you know exactly what you're gonna do when you are 18?! I DON'T THINK SO. I know you just want what's best for me but please cut me some slack and try not to ask me ALL THE TIME WHAT I WANTED TO DO WITH MY LIFE because honestly, everything is blurred. Nothing's clear and that's what life is all about. I won't let you down though, please... just chill!
Again, for that someone, don't ever think that i'm getting tired of this. I know i told you before that i'll do my best not to get tired. and im KEEPING THAT AS A PROMISE. I will be completely honest, there came a time when i felt tired(way before our latest serious talk) I felt like i was hoping and up for nothing but another heartbreak. HOWEVER, I got a squirmy smile from you and I again saw some light. I can't even understand my own self for feeling this way about you but you know what, that's what makes me really really into you. you're such a mystery. How come you made me hooked to you. Please don't think that I'M GETTING TIRED COS I'M NOT. I just sometimes feel like... hopeless. Do remind me again from time to time why it is worth the wait cos honestly, sometimes... i don't think i can. But i'll fight! i just sincerely hope you're with me on this.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
OH MY. im such a lying little bitch who can't keep up with her promises. and i have such a bad mouth im so sorry! i'm just so dissapointed with myself cos i swore that i'll be blogging, update this, feed my blogspot with lots of stories and you know, more. However, i wasn't able to keep it. im such a promise-breaker-loser! anyway, here i am again, trying to keep up. my last entry was last dec. 1o 2009, and today is march 3, 2010. almost 3 months. alot had happened! good ones and not so good ones. but all memorable!
I don't have the liberty to recall everything cos it's just so many. (in my personal point of view) hahaha :)) so let me just blurt out some things that's bothering me and keeping me pre-occupied for the last days.
1st up, ACADEMICS.
well, it's march, as we all students refer to as the HELL MONTH. upcoming finals, deadlines, paper dues. UUGGGHH, it's excruciating. To be completely honest, i'm so bummed right now, i don't want to do the thing i was ought to do earlier than i suppose to so i will not cram, however. I'M JUST TOO LAZY to do it. hahaha! i'm so funny i know! i'm a total nonsense! but but but, so far, no failing grade, no deadline missed and report that wasn't able to deliver properly soooooo... so far so good eh? don't worry, i won't mess this sem up. i need to have a good grade for the evaluation part for the shifting thing. i'll be functioning well soon.
2nd, AMERICAN IDOL.
my gosh! i'm such a fan. i don't miss a single episode so far and i'm sure i will not! ever ever ever cos i have a HUGE crush on one of the contestant. CASEY JAMES <3 he makes me kilig and BLUSH everytime he appears onscreen. and the moment he sings... he makes my heart melt, seriously! and the body, the smile and the face, C'MON! HOTSTUFF MUCH! okay okay, i'm calm. *inhale-exhale* aaaaahhhh... better. i love you casey james. i'll be your biggest fan forever. :)
3rd, DIETING.
uuuuggghh. i can't enumarate how many times i failied doing this. i've tried all sorts of diet. after 6, no rice,water therapy, fruit only diet, name it i've done that! but you know, it's just so haaaarrrrd. I LOVE EATING! i blame this stupid slow metabolism. i don't even eat rice anymore, mostly just fruits and oatmeal cookies. Maybe i just really have to work thrice as hard as the others cos of my built, i should exercise during weekend which i do, whenever i feel like it. i do occassional runs and walks on the tredmill. i sometimes do some sit-ups and push ups but i think i won't be able to do that for a few more weeks. why? secret! hahahaha :) okay, i just really need to control myself in the eating part and be more determine in the exercise, in conclusion. wish me luck!
4th, lack of love life?
it's been 8 months since my last relationship. it's not that i'm not happy it ended, it's for the better but... i really miss holding hands, warm hugs and sweet kisses from somebody very special to me. i do eye someone at the moment but im pretty sure nothing's gonna happen soon. i'll be counting years for that matter. maybe i'm just jealous to those who have a happy healthy love life. yeaahh, i think that's it. haaaaaayyyy... i just don't know what to do anymore, i miss having "special sweet moments" anyone? im available. want to know me better? c'mon let's give it a shot and be friends. hahahaha desperate calls for desperate measures, but this is not one of those, just teasing! hahaha. i trust God, i know he'll unravel my mystery guy in the right time.
5th, this guy i'm eyeing, is it worth it?!
this is the guy i'm telling you about. the guy who ditched me. hahaha! not so much of a good impression huh? okay erase. he's really great, a guy with a good heart indeed and very responsible! but every once in a while, i'm sorta having doubts. doubts in myself and in him... but knowing me, i will still take this shot as long as L-O-V-E stand a chance in this situation. but too early to say! i just have to pray. :) but so far, i like talking to him, he cracks me up, he's so funny and amazing!
that's all for now! sorry if i have the lamest life ever. but dontcha worry, maybe this is just a phase or, maybe, i have a fabulous life and just haven't realized it yet?hmmmm... i think the second one will do. ;) okay til my next blog! nyyyyyttt :)
I don't have the liberty to recall everything cos it's just so many. (in my personal point of view) hahaha :)) so let me just blurt out some things that's bothering me and keeping me pre-occupied for the last days.
1st up, ACADEMICS.
well, it's march, as we all students refer to as the HELL MONTH. upcoming finals, deadlines, paper dues. UUGGGHH, it's excruciating. To be completely honest, i'm so bummed right now, i don't want to do the thing i was ought to do earlier than i suppose to so i will not cram, however. I'M JUST TOO LAZY to do it. hahaha! i'm so funny i know! i'm a total nonsense! but but but, so far, no failing grade, no deadline missed and report that wasn't able to deliver properly soooooo... so far so good eh? don't worry, i won't mess this sem up. i need to have a good grade for the evaluation part for the shifting thing. i'll be functioning well soon.
2nd, AMERICAN IDOL.
my gosh! i'm such a fan. i don't miss a single episode so far and i'm sure i will not! ever ever ever cos i have a HUGE crush on one of the contestant. CASEY JAMES <3 he makes me kilig and BLUSH everytime he appears onscreen. and the moment he sings... he makes my heart melt, seriously! and the body, the smile and the face, C'MON! HOTSTUFF MUCH! okay okay, i'm calm. *inhale-exhale* aaaaahhhh... better. i love you casey james. i'll be your biggest fan forever. :)
3rd, DIETING.
uuuuggghh. i can't enumarate how many times i failied doing this. i've tried all sorts of diet. after 6, no rice,water therapy, fruit only diet, name it i've done that! but you know, it's just so haaaarrrrd. I LOVE EATING! i blame this stupid slow metabolism. i don't even eat rice anymore, mostly just fruits and oatmeal cookies. Maybe i just really have to work thrice as hard as the others cos of my built, i should exercise during weekend which i do, whenever i feel like it. i do occassional runs and walks on the tredmill. i sometimes do some sit-ups and push ups but i think i won't be able to do that for a few more weeks. why? secret! hahahaha :) okay, i just really need to control myself in the eating part and be more determine in the exercise, in conclusion. wish me luck!
4th, lack of love life?
it's been 8 months since my last relationship. it's not that i'm not happy it ended, it's for the better but... i really miss holding hands, warm hugs and sweet kisses from somebody very special to me. i do eye someone at the moment but im pretty sure nothing's gonna happen soon. i'll be counting years for that matter. maybe i'm just jealous to those who have a happy healthy love life. yeaahh, i think that's it. haaaaaayyyy... i just don't know what to do anymore, i miss having "special sweet moments" anyone? im available. want to know me better? c'mon let's give it a shot and be friends. hahahaha desperate calls for desperate measures, but this is not one of those, just teasing! hahaha. i trust God, i know he'll unravel my mystery guy in the right time.
5th, this guy i'm eyeing, is it worth it?!
this is the guy i'm telling you about. the guy who ditched me. hahaha! not so much of a good impression huh? okay erase. he's really great, a guy with a good heart indeed and very responsible! but every once in a while, i'm sorta having doubts. doubts in myself and in him... but knowing me, i will still take this shot as long as L-O-V-E stand a chance in this situation. but too early to say! i just have to pray. :) but so far, i like talking to him, he cracks me up, he's so funny and amazing!
that's all for now! sorry if i have the lamest life ever. but dontcha worry, maybe this is just a phase or, maybe, i have a fabulous life and just haven't realized it yet?hmmmm... i think the second one will do. ;) okay til my next blog! nyyyyyttt :)
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