VENT-ing

I LOOK STUPID HERE. why did i put this? well, i don't feel well. i mean not that i'm sick or anything, i just feel like... something is missing or a part of me is missing and that's the closest picture that somehow describes my feeling.

I have a lot of things to accomplish this week (academically speaking), but i'm so not in the mood, plus... why can't i stop thinking about him? OH MY GOD. I'm going mad am I? Have i done something that made him tick of? Does he decided not to come for me? OH MY. how paranoid can i get. I know i'm in no psition to feel anything like this and all but... my instinct is telling me that something is WRONG. And... my instinct is always as in most of the time correct! Why all of a sudden huh? Oh my... i feel so empty now. not just because of this shenanigan but also, the fact that i feel very pressured to decide now what my life long career would be. I mean, im just starting to discover the things that i enjoy, the things that defines me, I'm just starting out to explore the World and discover ME. Why rush parents??? did you know exactly what you're gonna do when you are 18?! I DON'T THINK SO. I know you just want what's best for me but please cut me some slack and try not to ask me ALL THE TIME WHAT I WANTED TO DO WITH MY LIFE because honestly, everything is blurred. Nothing's clear and that's what life is all about. I won't let you down though, please... just chill!

Again, for that someone, don't ever think that i'm getting tired of this. I know i told you before that i'll do my best not to get tired. and im KEEPING THAT AS A PROMISE. I will be completely honest, there came a time when i felt tired(way before our latest serious talk) I felt like i was hoping and up for nothing but another heartbreak. HOWEVER, I got a squirmy smile from you and I again saw some light. I can't even understand my own self for feeling this way about you but you know what, that's what makes me really really into you. you're such a mystery. How come you made me hooked to you. Please don't think that I'M GETTING TIRED COS I'M NOT. I just sometimes feel like... hopeless. Do remind me again from time to time why it is worth the wait cos honestly, sometimes... i don't think i can. But i'll fight! i just sincerely hope you're with me on this.